Watch Them Wiggle, See Them Jiggle: Bikini Girls vs Dinosaurs


Written By: Ken Hulsey
Sources: Avery Guerra, Facebook, Youtube

Everyone knows that rampaging dinosaurs have been as important to the history of sci fi cinema as, well, girls in bikinis, loin clothes, jumpsuits ... that spandex bathing suit thing Caroline Monroe wore in "Star Crash" ... you get the idea. Anyway, dinosaurs have been iconic cinematic nemeses dating all the way back  to "The Lost World" in 1925. Today, the world's largest and most famous dinosaur, Godzilla, is set to take the movies by storm in this summer's self titled American reboot.

Likewise, women in as little clothes as censors will allow have been wowing male movie goers since ... well a movie producer realized that men like to look at women (well most men anyway).

Why not put them both together? Two great things together ... like a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.

Well film maker K D Barker was able to connect the dots in his new film "Bikini Girls vs Dinosaurs."

Okay, I know the idea of beautiful ladies bouncing around being chased by big bad reptiles is nothing new or original. If you want to see what I mean check out "One Million Years B.C" with Raquel Welch, "When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth" with Victoria Vetri (and her jiggling cavegirl friends) or "The People that Time Forgot" with the ample Dana Gillespie.

Now I have visited the website, Facebook page and seen the trailer for "Bikini Girls vs Dinosaurs" and I have come to a couple of conclusions, one this movie is not as good as any of those movies I just mentioned. Two, the special effects are pretty bad, not Ed Wood bad, but bad enough to make you wish you still had your Colecovision (it's am 80s video game system ... look it up). Three, I don't think there are really any dinosaurs in it ... wait...let me see that trailer again. Oh, okay there is one.

Not that it really matters, I mean you had me at Bikini Girls right, the dinosaurs are really just a bonus.

I don't mean to be a butt-munch, I now that Barker wasn't trying to make a Jurassic Park movie. It's deliberate camp for the sake of good old fashioned t and a, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Here is the low-down:

On the eve of their inauguration, 3 space fighter-pilot princesses are dispatched into a black hole by their 'wicked' step-mother so she can steal their crown with impunity.

When passing through the black hole, the princesses inadvertently travel back 70 million years in time and are forced to fight ferocious dinosaurs while looking for plutonium to refuel their stranded spaceship.

Will they s...urvive the deadly onslaught of those prehistoric beasties?
Will a conveniently placed block of cheese be of use?
What colour bikini works best in zero gravity?
Is this just all too bizarre and you now need a lie down?

All will be revealed.

Written and directed K D Barker.
Starring Hannah Robson, Kul Sarai, Toria Pardoe, Caroline Vella, Waleed Khalid, Sophie MacWhannell, Xander Hewitt and David Macey.






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Comments

  1. A pretty poor critique. Have you actually seen the movie?

    ReplyDelete

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