Written By: Ken HulseySource: Variety
You just knew that once "The Smurfs" movie had started production that Hollywood would begin dipping into the genre of classic cartoons again. You know, I'm honestly starting to believe that the major film studios are on a mission to rape and destroy my memories of childhood. They made two terrible movies based on "The Flintstones", two average movies about "Scooby Doo", a terrible comedy out of "Land of the Lost" and I'm sure that they are going to destroy "Robotech".
Now Warner Bros has gotten their greasy mitts on "Hong Kong Phooey" and I shutter to think of what they are going to do with it. I'm betting on a CGI Phooney and Spot mixed in with live actors like "Alvin and the Chipmunks", what do you think?
Warner Bros has lined up Alex Zamm to direct the film from a script penned by David Goodman (Family Guy - Producer). Broderick Johnson, Andrew Kosove, Brett Ratner and Jay Stern have all been tagged as producers.
"Phooey" follows the exploits of Penry, a mild-mannered janitor at a local police precinct who moon-lights as a bungling super-hero. In true cartoon fashion, the Bruce Lee inspired K-9 manages to foil crimes purely by accident or takes the credit for ones actually solved by his side-kick Spot.
As side note I want to point out that "Hong Kong Phooey" was voiced by the talented singer, dancer and actor "Scatman" Crothers. Though the actor had been in numerous productions, you would probably remember him as the cook of the Overlook Hotel that Jack Nicholson plants an ax strait in the chest of in "The Shining."
You know, I loved my childhood.......
...and your childhood will remain intact, regardless of how many bad updates of properties from that period Hollywood creates. With all due respect (and with complete understanding of the frustration and anger bad remakes/updates cause), it really makes me angry when adult fans talk about their childhood being "raped", etc. Without the benefit of a time machine, Hollywood and the accountants who run it can't ever change or erase the good times you had as a kid watching your favorite cartoons and movies. Only you can do that, by allowing bad modern versions of those cartoons and movies to in any way color your recollections of the original. The past can only be ruined for those who insist on trying to live in it, rather than simply holding on to its precious memory. The original FLINTSTONES, HONG KONG PHOOEY, LAND OF THE LOST, THUNDERBIRDS, SPEED RACER, TRANSFORMERS, etc., etc., et. al., are no worse or less entertaining just because Hollywood has made inferior new versions.
ReplyDeleteGranted, my memories of these beloved shows from the past remains in tact and I will always treasure them.
ReplyDeleteI just feel, as many fans do, that
Hollywood isn't giving these properties a fair makeover. The frustration really comes from the fact that they ignore the source material. If your going to make a movie about a classic show, then follow the original story. Use the elements that made that show likeable in the first place.
Hollywood has a tendancy to come up with a film idea.....then slap a "name" on it to try and get the fans in the door. They manage to throw in a few token things from the original, but overall it's a different story all together.
GI Joe is a good example of this. I don't see anything in that trailer that looks anything like the old cartoon. I really think that they just made a futuristic military movie and put the name GI Joe on it so it would sell.
The new Transformers movie is another example. My 14 year old son, who is a huge fan of everything Transformers, came out of the theater disapointed. He spent a better part of an afternoon going over the stuff that didn't make sense to him.
Do these movies really ruin our memories? No, of course not.
I guess the bottom line is that Hollywood could be making really cool movies out of these properties, and they aren't. If they made them more like the original, fans would embrace them instead of complaining about them.
Thanks for reading my rants, even though they anger you, they do make for good conversation and debate.
But we're talking about two different issues here.
ReplyDeleteThe first is Hollywood's callous, "in name only" updates of beloved properties. On that issue, we are in complete, 100% agreement. If you're going to call a movie GODZILLA, for instance, it should probably be about a creature that is recognizable as Godzilla, behaving in a way folks would expect Godzilla to behave. No argument there whatsoever (save perhaps the caveat that it's only fair to wait and see if the proposed Hong Kong Phooey film is a faithful adaptation or not).
The second issue, however, is the use of phrases like "raping my childhood" and other, similar sentiments when describing these "in name only" updates. To cite the example mentioned above, not one frame of Sony's misguided 1998 film GODZILLA diminished my enjoyment of the Toho Godzilla series, the titular lead of that series, or any of the films in that series in the least, despite all of the mistakes Roland Emmerich, Dean Devlin, and Sony made. I learned the hard way as a young adult that the only thing that can in any way diminish my love for Godzilla movies is if I allow my feelings to be influenced by things outside of those movies - angry fanboys, cynical critics, brain-dead Hollywood types, etc. When the internet was flooded with negativity over GODZILLA VS. SPACEGODZILLA (and pretty much every film in the franchise after it), I went through a period of years when I started viewing Godzilla films differently. I looked for the flaws, expected the worst, got caught up in all the griping, and ultimately (to a degree) stopped enjoying something I'd loved for as long as I could remember. It was only when I went back to watching the films for the reason I used to - to have fun - that I rediscovered that joy, and learned that the only way the present can affect the past is if I let it, in my own mind and heart.
I wish every movie Hollywood made was a great one. I've also reached a point where I've had to face up to the hard reality that some old TV shows, cartoons, etc., don't lend themselves to becoming great movies (and I'd say Hong Kong Phooey belongs in that category). In the end, I'm satisfied just to hope for the best, look for the positive, and write off anything that falls short as a bump in a road I otherwise thoroughly enjoy traveling.
Just my opinion, you understand. Not out to bust your chops or give you a hard time at all. I do enjoy reading your news updates and opinions very much.