Written By: Ken HulseySince I have been writing about horror films and sci fi epics for the past couple of years, I thought it would be a nice change of pace to talk about some classic animation, all be it of the sci fi variety.
The topic that I have chosen for my venture into the universe of classic cartoons is non-other than the 1956 Warner Bros outing entitled, "Rocket Squad", a nifty little parody of the TV series "Dragnet" and "Racket Squad" (you've probably never heard of that last one) plus the abundant sci fi films of the day.
The short feature was the combined work of producer Eddie Selzer, who clashed often with the animation staff at the WB (he actually opposed the pairing of Sylvester and Tweety), legendary director Chuck Jones and writer Michael Maltese. In fact "Rocket Squad" has Chuck Jones written all over it.
The story follows Daffy Duck as Sgt. Joe Monday, also the narrator of the story, and his sidekick Porky Pig as Detective Schmoe Tuesday, a pair of interplanetary cops who are searching for the Flying Saucer Bandit. With the aide of some futuristic evidence collecting robots, a Univac clue machine, and a player piano, the duo mistakenly identifies the criminal as George 'Mother' Machree, whom they apprehend in a smog bank over Los Angeles. In the end both Daffy and Porky themselves end up getting sentenced to 30 years for false arrest.
Here is the dialogue from the cartoon:
Rocket Squad (1956)
Writer: Tedd Pierce Production No. 1347
1. Daffy: (Narrator) This is the Milky Way....a nice galaxy....Eight hundred and seventy-five trillion people live here....Yes, it's a nice place to live.....It's my job to keep it that way....I'm a space cop. My name's Monday. My partner's name is Tuesday. He always follows me. It was Wednesday, January 23, 10:26 p.m.
2. Porky: T-ten twenty-eight!
3. Daffy: It was 10:28 p.m......We were returning from a routine investigation in the Big Dipper area.....a 712....Malicious mischief.....Schoolchildren had blown the ring off Saturn....When will parents learn to keep uranium out of their children's reach?
4. Porky: Yeh.....wh-when?
5. Daffy: 10:34....Headquarters called.
6. Captain: Calling Prowl Jet 36....Prowl Jet 36....Come in, 36.....Over
7. Daffy: Joe Monday
8. Porky: O-over.
9. Captain: Joe....It's the Flying Saucer Bandit again....First National Bank of Jupiter! Report in!
10. Daffy: Wilco!
11. Daffy: Wednesday, January 23.....10:42 p.m.
12. Porky: T-ten forty-six!
13. 10:46 p.m......We returned to Headquarters.
14. Porky: Isn't modern science wonderful? People used to have to use stairs!
15. Daffy: 10:52...Back at the old desk....waiting for a call from the Chief......Half a cop's life is spent waiting...10:53....The Chief called.
16. Captain: Joe....come right over, please! I need your help immediately!
17. Daffy: Right!
18. Daffy: My interview with the Chief was brief and to the point.....He wanted me to find out who the Flying Saucer Bandit was and then to place him under arrest.
19. Daffy: I contested.
20. Chief: (Kisses Daffy's feet)
21. 11:07....We proceeded to the scene of the crime.
22. Daffy: 11:21.....Checked in at the scene of crime.
23. Daffy: The crime robots were on the job.
24. Daffy: They were searching out and collecting vital bits of evidence.....picking up suspicious footprints....gathering up all significant objects. No clue is too small to escape their notice.
25. Daffy: 12:15 a.m. ....We returned to Headquarters with the clues.
25a. Porky: A c-cop's life isn't all beer and skittles.
26. Daffy: Now all the facilities of a great modern crime lab were brought to bear.
27. Daffy: We identified the name of that song.
28. Daffy: "Mother Machree."
29. Daffy: We proceeded to the Machree file.....
30. Daffy: It was a long one....
31. Daffy: We finally found what we were after....
32. Daffy: This criminal was so clever he'd never been suspected of anything.
33. Daffy: The case was beginning to heat up. Our next step was the crimino-detecto set.
34. Daffy: Machree was to be at Elsa's Blast-In....selecting a sandwich.
35. Daffy: 12:40 a.m. He selected a pastrami on rye with mustard. That figured.
36. Daffy: We didn't have much time...He was a notorious fast eater.
37. Daffy: 1:07.....He left the Blast-In
38. Daffy: 1:08....We arrived at the Blast-In.....Our deductions later proved that we had missed him by one minute.
39. Daffy: 1:09 ....We set out in pursuit
40. Daffy: If cops won't obey traffic regulations.....how can we expect others to?
41. Daffy: 10:23...We lost him in large smog bank over Los Angeles.
42. Porky: Hey.....J-Joe....get a load of this.
43. Daffy: (Loudspeaker) All right, Machree.....we know you're in there! Come on out!44. Daffy: Like all criminals, he had an elaborate alibi prepared.
45. Machree: I didn't do nothin'....I didn't do nothin'!
46. Narrator: This case was brought to trial April 23, 10:00 a.m. in Ultra Superior Court 13527B, Department of Astral Justice.....As a result of this trial...the two arresting officers were sentenced to twenty years for false arrest....
47. Porky: Th-thirty years.....
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