Oh, Gwendoline, making love to a man is much easier than fighting five guards with your hands tied behind your back!


Today we are continuing on with our list of cinematic 'turkeys' in honor of Thanksgiving with a little film that even a hundred naked women couldn't save 'The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak'. Yes this movie which rolled onto the scene way back in 1984 has everything that this spry young teenage boy would want to see in a movie, action, bondage, Tawny Kitaen, hundreds of women in tight leather outfits, topless cat fights, and boobs boobs and more boobs. Alas, none of these things could save this movie. I can still remember thinking to myself, 'Oh my God, why did she have to take her top off?'. You really never want a fourteen-year-old perpetually horny male to be so bored by a movie that he doesn't even want to see breasts  anymore. Yet that is exactly what happened. Even my best friend who was a bigger perv than me got tired of the endless parade of jiggling flesh. NOW THAT'S REALLY SAYING SOMETHING!


Here is your plot ... yes this movie has a plot, though I couldn't really remember it:

Gwendoline arrives in China in a box, and is helped out of her immediate predicament by a female contact and a devil-may-care adventurer. She's on a mission to find her father, who was last seen searching for a rare butterfly in the Land of the Yik Yak. They confront the evil Cheops in an attempt to find Gwen's lost father and the butterfly, and face many other challenges to their mission. - Written by Ed Sutton

This One Is 100% Certified Cinematic Turkey!


(Willard, Beth and Gwendoline are tied up at the Cheops's encampment)

Willard: Gwendoline, have you ever made love?
Gwendoline: No.
Willard: I can't let you die without making love. Here, move as close as you can.


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